Christmas

Wow I feel like a terrible blogger, considering it's been a week since Christmas and I haven't posted anything yet! I do need to cut myself some slack though considering December was a crazy busy month for us due to all the training my new job brought, Brian working overtime, and holiday madness in general! Our Christmas kinda seemed like it didn't happen, it was weird. I had to work Christmas Eve until 5pm so I missed out on the anticipation and excitement that generally existed in years past. I headed straight for my parent's house where I was met by a large crowd of family. I was so exhausted and emotionally drained from work that it was difficult to really take in and enjoy the evening. I ate dinner quick, then the gift opening frenzy began! Soren got alot of cool gifts, we're so thankful for all the love and support he has in his life! After gift opening he was so stinkin tired it took a long while to get him to take a nap! Eventually he went down for a little bit but then woke back up. We went to the 9pm Candlelight service at church, and it was a pretty special moment for us to have Soren there. I remember last year being pregnant and so excited about having a baby to celebrate with this Christmas.

The next morning we all woke up feeling under the weather, but we packed up and made the 3-hour drive down to IA to visit family.

We first visited Brian's step-mom's family.




The next stop we made was Brian's grandpa's house in the same town.

Remember these three munchkins?!? Look how much they've grown since their first picture together!

After that, we drove to Brian's parent's house about 15 minutes away from the town where the gatherings were. When we got back to their house about 8pm, we opened gifts between the 5 of us. Soren got lots of cool stuff, it was pretty awesome!

"On the day you were born" recorded by Grandma with his added birth stats.

We were able to stay down there until Tuesday, then came back home. I think we're still slowly recovering from the holidays, and all sick with colds. Luckily it hasn't seem to hit Soren or I too hard (yay breastfeeding!), just a little congestion.

And in case you wanted to see the Christmas Cards I designed this year, here ya go:
Hope you all had a blessed Christmas, next up, New Years!

Game-Changer

Before I became a parent, being a social worker was tough, but manageable. I enjoyed working with people and supporting them as they worked so hard to overcome so many barriers to reaching their goals. I heard terrible stories of events clients had to endure, and my heart hurt for them. But most days I was able to 'leave work at work'. I never once forgot about their stories, but I was able to turn off my brain and my hurt for them at the end of the day.

Since becoming a parent and recently starting my new position, I have come to realize that 'leaving work at work' is so much more difficult. The setting in which I work now is an inpatient child and adolescent psych. hospital, which is much more difficult in nature. But what I've noticed most is my heart hurting for both the children and parents. It's so hard for me to imagine having my kiddo brought to a psych. facility for an indefinite amount of time and not being able to hug or kiss them or tell them I love them whenever I would like to. It breaks my heart to even think about Soren being in such a dark place that he would want to hurt himself. I wish I could say that I could protect him from mental illness, but we all know that biology is biology, and that there is only so much nurturing I could do. It breaks my heart to see him smile and giggle and think about how these kids could have smiled and laughed as babies as Soren does now. To think about or see a child in a restraint or a seclusion room breaks my heart, knowing that they are someone's child.

Working on an inpatient psychiatric unit has definitely been a learning experience. One that leaves me questioning my ability to handle this nature of work. I can't say much, but a staff member was choked this weekend, and it was completely unprovoked. It took six staff members to get the patient off of the staff member, and the patient threatened to kill the staff person once they got out of the facility. This is not a single occurrence, this is happening often. Tonight I can't shake the thought wondering if that staff person would have been me. I am definitely being affected by hearing of the incident and I fear for my safety every time I step on the unit. Every time I step on the unit, I think of Soren. I'm just not sure this is where I'm supposed to be.

First Foods- Bananas

Soren has taken an interest to foods lately. He intently looks at food, and will follow food from plate/bowl to my mouth. He's beginning to reach for it also, and sometimes even opens his mouth when I put the food in mine. Tonight while at Babies R' Us, I bought some jarred baby food on a whim. I plan to make his own food, but wanted to see if he would even be interested in food first before I start making it. I bought 1 small jar each 'Earth's Best' organic bananas, sweet potatoes, prunes, and carrots. I was pretty excited to try them out, so I decided to give him a taste of banana tonight. I know you should try their first food in the morning so you have all day to see how they would react, but we've given Soren licks of banana here and there with no problems, so I wasn't worried about it. I think he was interested in it and seem to take to it well...what do you think?









And just too funny not to share:

Things Lately

Lots has been going on around here this week and I've been too busy to sit and write until now. On Monday I started my job orientation, and have been doing that every day this week. I've been doing considerably well, although I did have teary moment on Sunday and last night. I'm still trying to figure out how to balance everything, making new routines, and remembering everything. I have temporarily lost many things this week, including my name badge on only the third day! Luckily it was recovered at church. I think the change in routine has somewhat been affecting Soren, though not in any terrible way. The first day he wouldn't take a nap for daddy until the late afternoon while in the grocery store...Brian said he had a sad, sullen, defeated look on his face while shopping then finally fell asleep. He's been going to bed around 9:30-10 and every morning this week has woken up at 6:00 to eat! I need to get up around 6:15-6:30 so this has been working out perfectly. After he wakes up to eat, I bring him into our bed and nurse him, then keep him laying in our bed after he dozes off again and I get up and get ready. Then he wakes up again from 7-7:30 and Brian gives him a small bottle and he'll go back down until 9-9:30. It's working out pretty slick, I hope it stays that way. He's my little alarm clock, and I LOVE being able to nurse and cuddle him for a little bit before I have to go to work.

When I leave in the morning, I wear my pumping bra and pump in the car on the way to work. Sounds crazy I know, but no one would ever really know and it's a nice, efficient way to use my 45-minute drive time. While at work I pump once during my lunch break, then after work I will either feed him or pump right away. Not gonna lie, the girls are a hurting unit waiting that long, but it's what's feasible right now. It's a pain in the arse to pump, remember the parts, cut my lunch break short, but it also feels good knowing I'm providing for him even when we're apart.

Brian has been a rock star, despite a bit of a jump-in-head-first approach. It's been a new learning and adjustment period for us all. It's not easy giving up sole care and control of Soren but he's been handling it well and I have become more flexible and supportive. I honestly think working part-time is going to make me a better mother. Before I started, we just went about our routine; now I love coming home and squeezing and cuddling him, and playing whenever we get the chance. I love how he gets a HUGE smile when I get home. I also am starting to really enjoy nursing more...like I said, before it was just part of our routine, but now I am really cherishing that closeness I feel with him... I think he likes it too as it's often one of the first things he wants to do when I get home ;-). It sure beats pumping, that's for sure!

Well, I think that's it for now, I need to hit the sack but I'll update more this weekend. We managed to take some Christmas pics, so I need to design our cards here soon and find the time to mail them out...eeek!

5 Months!

I can't believe Soren is 5 months already! That just seems so crazy to me! Last week, Soren weighed 14 lbs. 2 oz., and was 25 inches long.

Eating: Soren has been an on-demand feeder, and as of lately, there's no rhyme or reason to when he wants to eat. When he wants to eat, he eats. It generally is every 2 hours but I've been noticing my milk supply has been running low again (*bangs head on table*) and so he's not getting much, then wants to eat every hour sometimes. We visited the Lactation Consultant last week, and he only took in 2 oz. before I ran dry. Unfortunately he's been receiving more formula bottles lately. Once I go back to work Monday, I imagine he'll fall back into a routine feeding schedule. Trying to boost my supply and meet his needs is going to be tough. I just need to remind myself that any little bit helps. He is also becoming curious about food and will look at my food while eating, sometimes following it up to my mouth. He's grabbed for my food once, but not consistently yet. We are waiting to feed him solids until we get the pediatrician okay in January, though he has had a lick of stuff here and there.

Sleeping: Soren goes to sleep between 9:30-10 and wakes up between 4-6am. Last night he slept from 9:30-5:30 (8 hours), which was awesome! I'm slowly starting to move back his bedtime, so tonight he went to bed at 8:45 and he seemed to do great! As long as we follow our routine, I think he knows it's nighty-night. One thing that I have discovered is that the poor little guy has night terrors. He cries in his sleep, pouty-lip and big sniffle breaths and all, but he's still sleeping. The other morning he was doing this and I tried to wake him up and it only served to make him cry in big ways...the cry that I know means he's really hurting or scared. I'm going to talk to his pediatrician about it at his 6 month appt. but from what I know, trying to wake him up only exacerbates it. It's hard to imagine what could be so terrifying at 5 months old, but it definitely is the saddest thing I've ever seen :-( . Most times when he wakes up though, he gets a HUGE smile on his face and squeals when he sees me. He'll even do this after I have just rocked him to sleep and lay him in his crib. Soren is somewhat of a high-maintenance sleeper. He almost always rubs his eyes when he is tired. He doesn't take a nap for longer than an hour during the day, most times it's about 15-30 mins. He needs it to be quiet, he likes to nurse/eat a bottle when falling asleep, and he likes movement. Usually I'll rock him, but sometimes that doesn't cut it and I end up pacing and bouncing him. We have an air purifier in his room that we use as white noise that I believe drowns out little noises that could wake him up. It's pretty easy to rock him to sleep in his own room for naps when I turn the air purifier on.

Development: Soren rolls from tummy to back great now, and rolled from back to tummy the other day. When placed in a sitting position, he will fall, but I think his little abs are getting ready, and one of these days he will be able to. He also enjoys being a standing position, and going from a laying-to-standing position. His little legs are pretty strong! Soren is becoming much more interested in toys, and manipulates ring toys and spinners on his jumperoo. He can now touch the floor in his jumperoo but he doesn't jump yet as any sudden movement still startles him. Soren is becoming very social now and enjoys making many different sounds and facial expressions. He enjoys squealing quite loudly ;-). When I leave the room, he will sometimes visually follow me and start to cry if I run out to the garage to bring something in...as soon as he sees me, he's fine. If a 'stranger' (to him) holds him, he will look at me and look for safety and re-assurance that he's okay... it's pretty cool to see the attachment process at work within my own self and my child. Soren also has little nubs on his gums and is drooling quite a bit and chewing on everything he can. I have a feeling a little tooth is going to pop out soon.

Likes: Soren enjoys sucking on his fist and fingers, squealing and 'talking', interactive games between him and Brian or myself, bath time, eating, Sophie the giraffe, watching youtube videos on daddy's lap, t.v., music, shopping :-)

Dislikes: Within the last week, I've noticed Soren has begun to dislike car rides. He's good for a little while, but anything over 15 mins. and he starts to fuss. Today I had fed him before we left our friends, and within 5 mins. he was fussing. We pulled into a gas station so I could nurse him some more and as soon as I took him out of the carseat he went from instant fussing to instant squealing and laughing...little stinker! When he cries in the car, it breaks my heart when I can't console him right away. There's been way too many times that we've been stuck in traffic or almost home and he screams in such a cry of desperation. Not gonna lie, I get teary when he does it.

Soren also still dislikes getting his clothes changed. Whatever arm we try putting in the sleeve, is always the hand he tries to suck on. He also hates when I interrupt his feeding to burp him or switch sides...he has a very distinct fuss for that, it kinda makes me laugh :-). Other than that, he's a pretty happy boy.

Soren, Meet 'Sophie'

This evening my parents, my niece, Soren, and I went to the General Store in Minnetonka to do some holiday shopping. I absolutely LOVE this place, the bottom floor looks like Christmas exploded, and the top floor is all sorts of cool knick-knack gifty stuff. The place is HUGE! Last year we went and I had just found out I was pregnant, and was nauseous most of the time. This year Soren was in his stroller and squealing for most of the 2 hours we were there...he was definitely a fan! One of the neat things they have here are ornaments that you can have personalized for free while you shop. Here's last year's ornament grab:

And this years:

I still want to find a "Baby's 1st Christmas" ornament where I can put his picture in it, I'm gonna do a hunt online since they didn't have one in the store.

I have been eyeing this popular "Sophie" the Giraffe, which is basically a glorified squeaky rubber giraffe. I finally bit the bullet and bought it (at an outrageous price). BUT, after seeing Soren play with Sophie for the first time, I would say it was well worth the money:

For whatever reason, Soren woke up about an hour after I had put him down for bed tonight. While he was sleeping during that hour, Brian and I set up the tree. When he woke up I HAD to come show him our first family Christmas tree all decorated. He was too sleepy though :-(


Just a couple more days before work starts, and I have a to-do list about a mile long. Thanks for all the ideas on the last post, they're all very helpful!