Sunday, October 30, 2011

Birth Story, Part II

See Birth Story, Part I here

I should mention a few more things I remember up until I was whisked away to delivery. Up until we were admitted to the hospital, I never really took thought in the fact that sometimes labor and delivery can be a life or death situation. My husband was so freakin' nervous about this from the very beginning of pregnancy, but I was the strong one saying that his ideas were irrational and gave him the statistics. That was, until I found myself feeling on-the-verge. It's hard to describe and some may think I'm over reacting, but I remember feeling so sick, that the thought had crossed my mind. And that I wasn't going to go into the c-section without saying what I needed to say. Hubby didn't know this at the time, but right before they took me to the OR, I remember calling my mom to my bedside and whispering to her, "If anything happens, please take care of Brian and my baby" through tears and shakes. It brings tears to my eyes even thinking about it. It's not a conversation I wish on anyone.

Alright, so back to the delivery. They wheel my bed into the OR, there's a bunch of nurses and doctors working and prepping. At that point I was in survival mode so I had no time to be afraid. I just did what I had to. They had me sit up on the edge of my bed, and started the spinal. It honestly was the easiest part of the whole deal, it stung for maybe a second, and placing it was quick. Then they had me lay down, and lifted me onto the operating table, which btw was skinny as heck. If I could move even an inch I would have rolled off. I also remember the air in the room being very...pure. It's hard to describe, but I definitely remember the air being different. A couple minutes after the spinal was placed I stopped shaking. It was the best feeling ever. I remember starting to feel cold, so my A-team nurse gave me a warm blanket, and rubbed my forehead...he was seriously the best! I began to feel nauseous too and so they laid a little basin beside my head, but I kept worrying what I would do if I vomited...just turn my head and hope to the high heavens that I don't choke on it. Lucky for me, I didn't vomit. I kept asking where Brian was, and when he would be there, I was worried about how he would handle the environment given he has a needle and blood phobia. I remember the nurses and doctors talking about some ridiculous tv show as they're preparing and performing the surgery. So bizarre. Anyways, Brian finally comes in after what seems like an eternity, and seeing him all dressed in his surgical attire was quite the sight. He sat next to my head and they began. We were pretty quiet, I kept waiting to hear my son cry and apparently it takes longer than I thought to get to that point. Finally, I remember hearing him cry, a very gurgely (is that a word???) cry, and the nurses and dr's saying "Happy birthday Soren!". Then they said "Ooop, we've got a pee'er"....yup, that's right, my son peed on me right when they pulled him out.

They brought him over to the warming table and Brian went over there to meet him. They weighed him, put clothes on him, and eventually Brian brought him over to me for a quick kiss and a picture, then took him to the NICU.

And then I was all alone. It seemed like in a flash he was there, and then he was gone. I really didn't even get a good look at his face. I didn't get to hold him. I couldn't touch his face. I just remember him crying and me saying "momma's here, momma's here". And then he was gone. And my husband was gone. I knew Brian had to go with him, I wanted him to. But I didn't want to feel so alone.




They took FOREVER to stitch me up and get me back into my room. But shortly after they left, my body needed sleep. Per hospital policy, no one was allowed in my room for an hour following recovery as I was being monitored. I don't remember much but I remember being awake and asleep, and when I woke up, I wanted to know where my family was. I think that hour went quick, because not too long after, my mom was in the room talking about how beautiful he was. She said that his blood sugars were low so they were feeding him formula. Hearing that news, well it hurt. Where was the nursing right after delivery that I dreamed about? Where was my experience of him being placed on my belly and me putting him right to my breast? I wanted him in my room as soon as possible so I could nurse him; I knew how important it was to get our breastfeeding adventures off on the right foot. I just kept saying "okay" and I was still in survival mode for him, I wanted him to be taken care of.





Tami, our birth photographer, came back to the room, and bless her heart, showed me pictures and videos of him. She gave me a full report on how he was doing, and said he was showing some signs of retraction while breathing, but that he was starting to get better and they were just keeping a close eye on him. She was so supportive, I needed her there more than I ever imagined. I began to feel more like a 'mom' when Tami showed me the pictures of my son. I saw videos of Brian talking to Soren and holding his hand and it instantly melted my heart. When she came back, my mom was able to go see him for the first time, since they have a 2-visitor limit per baby in the NICU. Tami was my advocate throughout the whole process. She made sure the NICU nurses knew I intended to breastfeed and continued to check in to see if we could get him to my breast as soon as possible.

Brian came back for a quick swig of Mt.Dew ;-) and gave me a kiss, then left again. I wanted him to be with Soren, but also felt like I needed him too. I was blessed to have Tami and my mom there with me, I just felt 'left-out' that others were getting time with my baby and I wasn't. After what seemed like an eternity (4 hours after delivery), Soren's NICU nurse paged my nurse and asked "Is momma feeling up to some skin-to-skin time with her baby?"...I answered "YES!!!!" on behalf of my nurse ;-). The nurses laughed. I was able to switch bras so I could try to nurse him, and sit up for the first time in my bed. I was SO EXCITED and ANXIOUS to finally meet my baby. I remember hearing him crying in the hallways, and instantly knew that was my baby.

It was so instinctive, and so amazing that after only hearing him cry that short time in the OR, that I was able to distinguish my baby's cry. They wheeled him in my room and I started crying, "My baby, my baby".

They handed me to him and I just held him tight and sobbed.

Finally, the miracle I had tried so long for, was finally in my arms.

He felt so right. So perfect. So tiny.

I didn't even really look at his face, I just held him tight and cried.

It was no-doubt the best experience in my life. Soren opened his eyes for the first time when he was in my arms.

He waited for his mommy, daddy, and him to be together before he showed off his beautiful eyes.

I just smelled him, and kissed him. I will never forget what that moment felt like.

I was excited to nurse him, but he was so sleepy, he wasn't really cooperating.



I was okay with that, I just wanted him in my arms. I was thrilled to discover that he was going to be able to stay in my room, and not have to go back to the NICU. Shortly after they brought him in, Brian's parents arrived and were able to hold him. I was in-and-out of sleep, so most of that was a blur.

As far as my health went, it would be the start of lengthy recovery. Pain wise, I felt nothing, really. They had me on a self-administered Morphine pump for the first 24 hours, which was nice. I was nauseous from that and the Mag and vomited a few times. They checked my blood pressure shortly after delivery, and it had gone done almost to a normal reading. Finally. Sweet relief. But the OB and nurses knew that I my BP was only in the 'honeymoon' stage, and it would go back up. I was required to be on the Mag for 36 hours after his birth. My blood pressure did eventually go up again and my swelling was absolutely terrible. I was somewhat worried, but knew that we were on the mend, and that he was here safe and healthy.

Postpartum, and reflections part III coming soon

Monday, October 17, 2011

Catching Up

I've had so many ideas on blog posts, and, well, no time to get them all done, so for the sake of time and sanity, you get a hotdish post. We've been busy busy busy, but honestly, I'm not sure with what...it's kinda crazy how busy you get once you have a little one on board.

Soren's been making leaps-and-bounds in his development, it's so fun to see all the new things he's doing! Soren's latest favorite game is "airplane", see for yourself below:



Last Monday (October 10th), I took him in for his 3 month checkup and shots. He weighed 11lbs. 4oz., and was 24 inches long. He's getting to be a such a big boy, and his chunky monkey self is adorable! We brought pictures of him in for his pediatrician and the nurses and they all went nuts over his adorableness, especially this pic:

He received 4 shots that day and an oral vaccine as well :-(. I don't know why I'm letting them do that many all at once, it's just wreaking havoc on his little system. That night he SCREAMED in such a different cry, a cry of desperation and pain, and I cried too and had to call my momma for relief :-(. Luckily we headed over to grandma and grandpa's and they helped out! I knew to give him tylenol after last month's shots, so that helped. However, since last Monday, his BMs have been pretty much non-existent. On Wednesday, I gave him Miralax after he hadn't gone on his own, then had to do the same on Friday, though that didn't work. On Friday I caved and did a suppository because he just kept grunting whenever he passed gas and seemed to be uncomfortable. Since that Friday suppository I have been giving him 1 oz. a pear juice a day, and he finally had a BM on his own on Sunday! It's funny how I get so excited over poop nowadays.

As I mentioned before, I have been starting to get Soren used to his crib at night. After his night routine and I rocked him to sleep, I would put him in his crib, and he would sleep there for up to an hour, then wake up. Well two nights ago, he shocked both Brian and I, and slept in his crib from 11-3:30am (4.5 hours), and even woke up on one occasion and fell back asleep on his own. I will never let him 'cry it out', but now I've learned if he's just kinda talkin' or making silly noises, I let him be, and by golly, he fell back asleep! Last night he slept in his crib from 12-5! I myself am having a hard time sleeping now though, worrying about him and waiting for him to wake up...I don't really know what to do with myself. After he wakes up, I just bring him into our bed, nurse him, and we both fall back asleep. It's nice to not have the pressure of him *needing* to sleep through the night or under any parameters if I was working full-time.

Speaking of work, well, that's a current topic of discussion these days. I wouldn't even say 'discussion', I would say 'necessity'. Finances are getting harder to handle with me out of work, so I'm definitely starting to feel the pressure of finding a job as soon as possible. I had an interview but I wasn't called back for a 2nd, so I just continue to apply and apply and hopefully one of these days I'll find something (social-work career-related). It is what it is. That's life.

In other exciting news, Soren is now a roller! At his dr. appt. on Monday, she put him on his tummy on the exam table, and he rolled over, almost off the table! I knew he was getting close, but that was kind-of a shocker! Two nights ago, he rolled over from tummy-to-back 3 times in a row, and now he's doing it pretty consistently. He's getting to be such big boy! Here's a video I took this morning:


I also took some Fall pictures of him, but they didn't turn out the greatest as it was windy and he wouldn't fully open his eyes, but here's some of the better ones:

He totally has a "hey ladies, I'm a stud muffin" look on this one:
(He is a total stud-muffin!)

I think that's it for now, I will do a special post on his baptism hopefully this week, I want to try and take some cute pics in his adorable handmade outfit my mom made him! Just Soren and I are going down to IA this weekend to visit the in-laws and celebrate grandpa's birthday! Should be fun!

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Remembering

Today was National Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness day, and I lit 3 candles remembering Skittle, baby of Brian & Emily K., and Michael & Alaina S., son and daughter of http://missconception-ads.blogspot.com/ . I also make aware, the loss of my husband's 2 brothers who were stillborn.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

To Feel So Much Deeper

Today I was jolted into eyes full of tears. I was just going about my day, checking new blog posts, and I headed over to MissConception's blog as I saw she had a new post. As I read her blog post my heart sank. My eyes filled with tears. She just lost her twins at 20 weeks gestation. And I can't stop thinking, and my heart won't stop hurting.

I've always been an emotional one, being touched by so many things. Before Soren came into our lives, I heard these stories and I felt terrible. But since having a child of my own, I literally feel the hurt in my innermost being... this is "limbic resonance" at its finest.

Stories of infertility, miscarriage, infant loss, child loss, child illness, parental illness, all cut deep in me now. I am also so fearful of anything happening to Soren, Brian, or I. Just yesterday Soren and I were out running errands, and as I made a left turn on a green light, my wheels began to spin due to the rain; I was about 6 inches away from getting t-boned in a serious accident. My heart raced and as I pulled into the parking lot, I began to get teary. I very well could have lost mine and/or my son's life just 1 minute earlier.

And on the other hand, I feel so much more joy and happiness since Soren has come into our lives. I don't think I've ever smiled this many hours in a day before Soren. To see him smile, well, it's honestly the best thing in the world. I've been happy, but never this genuinely happy in my innermost being.

They say having a child is like having your heart walk outside your body; I would have to agree. If you have a minute (we all have a minute, right?), please head over to MissConception's blog and show her some support. It is through this amazing blog community and Christ, that we get through these unspeakable tragedies.

Friday, October 7, 2011

3 Months Old!






Soren was 3 months old on Wednesday! A week ago he weighed 10 lbs. 12 oz. at the lactation consultant's office, and a few weeks ago he was 24 inches long. He's really starting to fill out now, and has gained thigh, arm, and wrist baby fat rolls...they're too cute for words! This last month Soren has changed quite a bit in his development and characteristics, I really love this age!

Soren is still eating every 2 hours during the day. He almost always nurses, but usually once a day he'll receive a bottle and will take 4 oz. At night he'll usually do a 5 hour stretch, then will eat every 2 hours.

Soren's reflux seems to be improving a bit, we're having less projectile activity which is nice. We're definitely still dealing with lots of spit-up but based on his great weight gain, we just wait until he'll outgrow it. He is still taking Prevacid solu-tabs once a night and doing the Pulmicort nebulizer to keep his airways calm in hopes of reducing his chance of getting sick. Soren's pediatrician has been working hard on getting him qualified for the Synagis RSV vaccine, and he's been approved! A children's home health care nurse will come out to our home once a month from November-March and administer the Intramuscular vaccine. I pray that we can keep him out of the hospital and healthy this Winter...it breaks my heart just thinking about the possibility :-(.

This last month has been a little bit more low-key for us. Soren, my mom, and I went camping for a weekend mid-September, and had a great time! Soren was also baptized this last Sunday, and we had a great celebration with family and friends! I will include more details in a separate post. I have also been working hard at applying for social work jobs, hopefully I'll be able to find one soon.

One big thing we've been working on lately is starting to get him used to his crib. I'm not ready to have him sleep in there all night yet, but I do want him to start getting used to it for when the time comes to transition him. We've started to incorporate crib time into our nightly routine. Currently, around 9pm, I'll give Soren a bath, get him dressed, sit in the glider in his room and give him his meds., do his nebulizer, and read him a book. I try laying him down in his crib and cross my fingers that he'll fall asleep/stay asleep but that has only happened once so far. What HAS been working is holding him in the living room after his routine, and wait until he's in a deep sleep, then put him in his crib. One night this week he went 3 hours without waking up, but usually he'll go an hour in his crib before waking up. I try to go back in there and put his paci in his mouth, but he doesn't fall back to sleep... it's almost like he needs to be held or in his swing to fall asleep. I'm not sure how to break this, he's been like this since the day he was born. I'm definitely not one to let him cry it out, so hopefully when he gets older he'll be able to just fall asleep on his own.

Soren is becoming much more vocal and alert now. He squeals, coos, and today he made a 'ma' sound for the first time...momma secretly hopes his first word is 'mama' ;-). He has also learned how to make a pouty face, curled bottom lip and all! Soren is becoming more content under his playmat as he enjoys looking at all the colors and toys. Also, we have mirrors in our cars so we can see him in our rearview mirrors, and he loves looking at himself in his mirror. He's not a smiley baby all the time, he likes to do things on his own terms ;-). He does have more alert, happy periods during the day when he will interact with us a lot.

Soren is often sucking on his fist now, I'm pretty sure he'll be a thumb-sucker once he figures out how to get it in there. His fists are still mostly clenched, but occasionally he'll open up his hands and grasp my finger. He does not hold onto toys yet, but I have a feeling that's just around the corner. Also, Soren can tolerate tummy time for just a bit longer now, but he still hates it. He kicks his legs a bunch so he will kinda move around but has yet to roll over (except that one fluke time when he was 6 weeks). Because his reflux seems to be improving, he enjoys laying on his back more, and will kick his feet non-stop.When holding Soren, I can usually sit him upright on my lap, bracing him with one hand on his tummy and one on his back (or side-to-side), and he will sit up straight and balance his head. Today I bought a jumperoo for him, which he's still too little for, but he did okay just sitting back in it without tipping.

This week I have started to read to him at bedtime, and he really seems to enjoy it. Also, him and daddy have lots of fun time together talking, singing, and playing on the playmat. When I (finally) get him to sleep at night, Soren will instantly wake up when he hears daddy's voice when he gets home from work. It is kinda sweet, not gonna lie :-).

Soren is just starting to grow out of his 0-3 month clothes, and is starting to wear some of his 3-6 month clothes. He is wearing one-size and Fuzzibunz perfect size small cloth diapers. Currently, our favorite cloth diapers are Fuzzibunz Perfect size smalls and Softbums. At night we add a Hemp babies doubler to his diapers because he pees a lot! We sure do love cloth-diapering, let me know if you have any questions about them!

Well, that's all I can remember for now, toota-lou

Thursday, October 6, 2011

"I See a Purple Cat Looking at Me"

I need to do Soren's 3 month post, but I captured these pictures tonight, and they were just too cute not to share. I started reading "Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What do you see?" to Soren before bed this week, and he seems really interested in it! Tonight, Daddy got home early so he got to read it to him while momma snapped some photos!




Tuesday, October 4, 2011

The Birth Story (Part I)...

... That no one wants to share.

I'm finally here, I'm finally writing this. I have been putting off writing this for so long not because I haven't had time, but because thinking about Soren's birth experience brings sadness and grief and loss for me. Before I share about the week that surrounded his birth, there are a few things I should mention. #1- Soren and I ended up being safe, which was and always will be our number 1 priority. #2- Although my experience took place at a Twin Cities hospital and my experience wasn't great, that doesn't mean it is reflective of the L&D ward of the hospital as a whole. #3- Sharing our birth story is very personal and by taking a risk in sharing it, I hope others who find themselves in similar situations will not feel alone. So, with that being said, let's begin...

Throughout my pregnancy I was termed "high-risk" due to my pre-existing high blood pressure and having Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. My pregnancy really went off without any gliches until the last month or so. I always prepared myself that I would have a good chance of developing pre-eclampsia. I knew there would be a risk of me needing a c-section. But considering things were going well, I prepared and hoped that I could attempt a natural childbirth. I read books, online forums, watched videos, all to prepare my mind and build up my confidence in being able to birth naturally. Brian and I bought massage balls, packed rice bags and heating pads, even downloaded hypnobabies tracks. We made it clear to our OB that we wanted me to be able to be up and moving during labor and use the tub; she was very supportive of this IF my blood pressure would be under control. I hoped and prayed that I could have the birth experience that I wanted, but I also prepared myself that there was a good chance it wouldn't be able to happen and I was going to be okay if it didn't, so long as him and I made it through safely. I knew one thing was for certain, however....I did NOT want a c-section. I was going to do anything and everything I possibly could to avoid having one. I feared how much it would impact the attachment process between Soren and I.

Towards the end of my pregnancy I was being monitored more closely due to my blood pressure creeping up and protein starting to spill into my urine (indicative of pre-eclampsia). My blood pressure meds. were increased during pregnancy to try to stabilize my blood pressure. I visited L&D triage a few times due to my high blood pressure, but every time I went in, my blood pressure ended up checking out fine and I was sent home. At 34 weeks, my OB and I had a discussion about really just needing to make it to 36 weeks as he would be much healthier. At 35 weeks we discussed possibly starting to prepare my cervix for an induction the following week; we both agreed that it would be better to get him out sooner after 36 weeks then waiting for my blood pressure to sky-rocket causing a more emergency delivery situation. One day short of 36 weeks I went to my OB appt. and my blood pressure was getting higher and my protein had elevated to +2. Although delivery was not imminent by any means, it was time to start softening my cervix...or so I thought. After that appointment she sent us home to pack up our bags and wanted us to check into the hospital early that evening as she would be on-call that night and we could start doing cervidil suppository treatments. The problem with doing inductions earlier are that the cervix is still quite tough so starting Pitocin would do virtually nothing to change my cervix, therefore it was important to soften it first. That afternoon I went to acupuncture and we worked on alot of points that would help start labor. We called Brian's parents from Iowa and told them they better come up tomorrow because it would look like I would be having the baby that weekend some time.

When we arrived at the hospital, they did some labs and such before starting the cervidil. Low-and-behold all my labs came back perfect (even though they weren't perfect earlier that day), and my blood pressure was perfect also. My OB came in and we were faced with a dilemma. Because everything looked great, it wasn't in Soren's best interest to start working on an induction because the longer we could hold off, the better for him. I expressed my concern about waiting until my blood pressure did get bad then I would need to lay on my left side and would need much more meds. which isn't what I wanted. My OB really understood my point-of-view, but she consulted with all the other OBs in the practice and they all said to hold me off. So, we were sent home and I was back on bedrest. She wanted me to come in 3 days later (Sunday) to do a cervical gel, and then I should plan on going back into the hospital that following Thursday to start induction.

So Sunday I went in for the gel treatment, then was sent home with a warning that I may have some mild contractions. I had done alot of reading about the cervical treatments and many women had said that those alone jumpstarted labor so they didn't end up needing pitocin...I was wishing and hoping that I would be one of them! That late evening on Sunday I began to develop some contractions and got very excited. All that I had read about childbirth was to start moving to help labor progress. I started walking, doing some squats, took a bath, and my contractions picked up to happening every 3 minutes and last for approximately 1 minute. I called to have my mom come over to walk with me while hubby was at work. Hubby got home around 11:30pm and continued to walk with me. I noticed my contractions started picking up more and they were getting stronger. I decided to call L&D and see if they wanted me to come in. We went into the hospital triage and I got hooked up to the monitors and it appeared that I was having 'contractions' but that they were not changing my cervix at all and were only merely side-effects of the prostaglandin gel I received earlier that evening. When I told them I had been up moving around and working with my contractions, I was scolded as I was supposed to be on bed rest. It didn't really occur to me that I should stay on bedrest if I went into labor...all I knew, and all I had read, was that I should start moving around to help progress labor naturally.

Unfortunately, because I had been doing a bit of walking and such that evening, when they checked my blood pressure it was high... I believe 180s/90s. They put a call into the on-call OB from my clinic, and they decided to admit me and start doing more cervical treatments rather than wait until later that week. They also told me because of my high blood pressure, I was going to have to receive continuous magnesium sulfate through an IV to prevent seizures from the high blood pressure. I had heard scary stuff about "Mag" and I began to panic. I took some deep breaths and knew that I could get through that. They got me started and I was worried I might get the burning sensation many had talked about with it, but I luckily didn't. Whew. I told myself, I could handle it.That morning at 6am they placed a 12-hour Cervidil suppository to start 'ripening' my cervix. That whole day (Monday) I was tolerating the Mag pretty well. In fact, all the nurses were astonished at how well both Soren and I were doing on it, they had NEVER seen a patient or a baby react so well to it. Apparently Soren and I were known as the "Mag rockstars" among all the L&D nurses.

(Apparently not a typical "Mag" patient)

That evening at 6pm, they pulled out the Cervidil and checked my cervix and there had been no. change. I was getting really disappointed in how slow the process was going. The nurses and doctors kept saying it could take days to try and get my cervix ready to start Pitocin. I was getting very discouraged but kept moving forward knowing that at the end of all of it, I would hold my precious little miracle. They placed another 12-hour Cervidil and continued me on the Mag. They also told me I could no longer have anything by mouth, not even anything to drink. If my mouth got dry, I had to suck on a damp rag and spit any water out. I knew I was beginning on a slippery-slope downhill. My blood pressure was automatically getting checked every 15 minutes, and it hurt like heck since it had to pump up so high to get my high reading. I began telling myself, "if this could take days, there's no way I can go without eating anything, I'll have no strength". That evening and night the Mag was really starting to hit me. I couldn't look at the clock and read it. I felt so dazed, out-of-it, unaware. My stomach was in knots from being hungry. And they had me on an insane amount of IV fluids so I was up peeing every half-hour. While Brian was sleeping I was awake, and feeling my confidence and energy wearing thin. I began to tell myself that if I needed a c-section, I would be okay with it. I didn't know how I could possibly go into a Pitocin-induction feeling as ill as I was. The battle hadn't even begun and I was spent. At 6am they removed the Cervidil, checked my cervix, and there was still not a single. change. I was so done by that point. I knew that I needed to start to push to have a c-section and get it over with. I forgot to mention that since that Sunday evening when I went in, my BP progressively got worse. They kept giving me high-powered IV meds. to try and lower it, and by Tuesday morning, it was taking 3-4 doses at a time to get it down to a reasonable level. And every time it got high, I could have BP readings every 5 minutes. I had major bruises on my arms from how tight the cuff was getting.

Tuesday morning, I was sicker than a dog. I was extremely nauseous, shaky, and had a migraine from my high blood pressure. After the 6am Cervidil pull, the nurse said the OB would be in during morning rounds with a game plan of what they were going to try next to soften my cervix. Around 7am I started having uncontrollable shakes, pretty severe actually. I asked the nurse if she could help me go to the bathroom, and she hesitated, then leaned down and whispered to me that she couldn't let me get up as she was afraid I was going to have a seizure. I didn't know this at the time, but at that point my blood pressure was 220s/150s...dangerously high. I remember telling her "I think I need a c-section" in between full-body shakes. She responded, "Yes dear, I think you're going to need a c-section". Relief. Finally. She was an amazing nurse. While we waited for the on-call Dr. to get out of surgery to come talk to me during rounds, the nurse got the catheter in , had me sign a bunch of paperwork, and got everything ready so I could get into the surgical room when the Dr. was ready.
(I was as sick as I looked in this picture)

I remember time going super slowly, and I kept asking/begging for the dr. to come in. I knew by the way I was feeling that getting this baby out was becoming imminent. After what seemed like an eternity, she came down around 9am, and before I even let her speak, I said "I need a c-section". I think she was taken aback by that and replied "Well, let's hold on here, you have some options that I need to explain to you". I wasn't having it one. bit. As she was explaining our "options" I just kept thinking "shut up lady, we need to deliver this baby NOW" as I was continuing to shake uncontrollably. She said we could continue to try cervidil treatments, or we could start a new pill called "Cytotec". She even mentioned sending me. home. I mean, c'mon, seriously?!? She said continuing to prepare my cervix would take a couple of days. I tried to act like I was giving her options consideration, but by that point, there was no. way. in. HELL I was going to wait days to deliver this baby. After she got done talking, she looked at me and said, "Well, yeah, I think we'll do a c-section". THEN she started explaining the different incisions, and risks with both, and what I could expect, blah-di-blah-di-blah. The nurse asked what time she was available to do the c-section (my heart broke thinking about having to wait hours before surgery). She said there was no time that was going to be best for her, so we might as well do it then since the OR was open. After she left, I drank a NASTY substance to settle my stomach (seriously, there's no comparison to describing how nasty that was), but I didn't even care, I was in survival mode at that point. The "A-team" (aka anesthesiologist and team) came in and talked to me, read my chart, then I was whisked away.

(Right before I went in the OR)

To be continued...