Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Anger & Resentment
Prior to starting my job, Soren would get 1 bottle of formula a day, and the rest I was able to nurse/breastmilk bottle feed. Since starting my job, my supply has decreased terribly. I am now only able to do about 1/2 of his feeds with breastmilk, and this makes me so angry and resentful towards work. I know all jobs are stressful, but my position is insane, I don't even have time to take lunch breaks in order to get all my work done, heck, even finding time to go to the bathroom is difficult! I pump once at work, which gives me 2- 6 hour spans, and am only pumping 3 oz. This last weekend, I only pumped one bottle worth for the next day. I have every right to take my times to pump during the day, but finding the space is an issue. Every day I run around the building, wasting time, trying to find a space to pump. It's stressful, it's losing out on precious time to work, and it's aggravating when I can't find a place. I've even begun to notice that at night times I'm running out of milk and Soren gets fussy because he's not getting much (granted he shouldn't need to eat several times at night anyways). My goal was to make it to at least 1 year, and do baby-led weaning. I'm SO not ready to say goodbye to bf'ing, my heart breaks just thinking about it. I'm going to start back up my supplements 3 times a day, but I know that if I can't keep up with the pumping at work, it will be useless. For many people, formula is no big deal, but for me it just doesn't feel 'right'. Nursing is our special time together, I feel angry that work is (in a round-about way) taking that away.
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My friend had the same issue and Fenugreek really helped her. She said her milk supply doubled in 2 days. Not sure what supplement you were taking. I took Fenugreek too with Lauren but I wasn't pumping so I don't how much of an increase it was but it was definitely enough to give her what she needed.
ReplyDeleteTake a deep breath! Working sucks (doing it right now) but stress is only interfering with your supply. I can't even count how many nights I have cried about working full-time but I have to constantly remind myself that I can not pinpoint as adults who had Moms that stayed home and those that were working. We are struggling with working more than they are...or at least that is what I tell myself to cope!
Mindy,
DeleteHave you asked work about having a designated space for pumping? I believe that they are required to supply this aren't they? Maybe you need to just set two times during the work day that you HAVE to stop whatever it is you're doing and pump? Stress can definitely affect your ability to have a successful pump session...have you tried bringing a picture of Soren to look at while pumping? a special blanket of his to cuddle/smell? breast massage? How about eating oatmeal (not the instant the real stuff)? These are all tips the lactation nurse gave me when my supply started tapering off! Good Luck Lady!